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Venting -with V- Day 3:

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Loneliness:

Hey guys, V here, and today I’m going to be talking about loneliness. Loneliness, what is this exactly? Loneliness to me is a feeling of being lost and withdrawing yourself from everyone. As a kid you grow up believing that being lonely means being alone, and for some people this may still be true. Loneliness can be a terrible and almost scaring feeling; it can harm you physically, mentally, and emotionally. Loneliness can be caused from low- self-esteem, stress, or anxiety. For me it’s crazy to think that loneliness isn’t a disease, it’s just a feeling, and it’s your own mind against itself. This feeling is unique to everyone, which makes this harder to overcome. Personally, I don’t feel like I have fully healed from this feeling, but I will share some of my tips on how I cope with it. Before I start I’d like to remind you guys that there would always be at least one person who cares about you no matter what. With that being said here goes my first tip:

Find the source of the problem. What I had to do was say, “Okay, when was it that I began to feel this way?” Much like a weed, you should target loneliness at its roots.

Listen to what your feeling. I mentioned how loneliness is a very different feeling for others. What I did was ask myself if I was physically lonely or mentally lonely. Did I feel alone in a crowd? Did I feel alone only when I was by myself?

 

Here is where it gets a bit complicated, if you felt alone by yourself I have more tips coming, if you felt alone in a crowd I have some possible advice for you. What I experienced was the feeling of loneliness in a crowd and alone. It was hard to get through it because I was going through a low-point in my life. I wasn’t surrounding myself with good people. With that being said here is my first tip:

 

Do something for yourself: I feel like I have been repeating myself a lot when it comes to doing things yourself. This year has been a very empowering one for myself because I learned to love and rely on myself more. I cannot stress this enough, YOU WILL ALWAYS HAVE YOURSELF! When times get tough you can be there to pick yourself up, when you are laughing and having a great time, it’s you in the moment no one else! Being alone can be hard because it’s a feeling of emptiness. What I found that helped me was doing something that fulfilled me, such as: playing soccer, going out to get a snack, binge watching my favorite shows, even watching a freaking Tinker Bell movie! This advice doesn’t come very naturally for many people, trust me I understand it’s hard to learn to find company in yourself, but once you find this, the empty feeling you may have isn’t so apparent anymore.

 

Don’t isolate yourself: I know the feeling of getting hurt and not wanting to be close to anyone. This brings me to the subject of trust. Trust can take a long time to build, but also a second to go away. I remember one of my dad’s friends saying “A relationship can’t go anywhere without trust.” This took me back because it’s true, if you don’t trust someone how will you ever know it’s okay to talk or do anything with them? I have found myself doing this a lot here lately; having the feeling that I cannot trust someone based on an experience I’ve had before. By doing this, I realized I was just isolating myself even more; the whole I was in was just getting bigger because of what I was doing. The tip I want you guys to get is to allow yourself to be more open, and with that being said here is my next tip.

 

Surround yourself with good people: This may seem very cheesy, but it does help! It took me a while to realize this, but the people that you surround yourself with do impact you in many ways. If you are constantly around people who bring you down, or constantly have a negative vibe, you shouldn’t be around them. Energy does transfer and if you’re constantly around a negative one you may start feeling the same way. This feeling of always being down, and in a bad mood may be one of the reasons you feel alone. Good friends should make you feel whole, important, and good, I know it can be hard to let go of people that are in your life, but in the long run it can help.

 

Talk to someone: You are not the only person who feels alone. Yes, it’s okay to have this feeling; you are not offending anyone when you feel alone. It took me a very long time to reach out to anyone about this. Actually, take that back, I didn’t reach out to anyone, a good friend reached out to me. I just had the idea that if I said anything I may hurt the people who try their best to be there for me. It was hard to finally open up and say, “Hey, I know you’re my friend, and I know you’re here for me, but I feel so alone.”

 

Tell someone, because they may be feeling the exact thing. Being lonely isn’t a crime you are allowed to feel this way. Whether it is a friend, a parent, or even a random person, allow yourself to express this feeling. Everything you feel will always be okay.

 

That’s the end of this topic, I feel like it’s a subject that everyone skims over. If any of you are feeling this way please reach out to someone, and always remember that there is at least one person who cares about you. Before I sign off here is a little food for thought: Can you get hurt faster by being alone or being with someone? Here it goes again, have a great day, and don’t forget to read tomorrow’s blog where I talk about comfort-zones, boundaries, and limits.

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Venting -with V- Day 3: